Do you ever see someone you haven’t taken a good look at in a while and realize you don’t recognize them?
I had that feeling today when I entered the computer lab and instinctively smiled out of courtesy to the one other person in the room, not realizing it was my ex.
It didn’t hurt me when I saw him, not like it did in the past. I might have looked a millisecond too long when I realized how different he looked. And I don’t even know if it’s because he actually has physically changed, or because I’ve changed. Or because it’s just been so long that the characteristics of his appearance and the expression on his face are no longer familiar.
I didn’t know how to feel about it. I just kept wondering…
Why can’t I just say, “How are you?”
like a normal human being would do.
I stood there, less than a foot away, printing my readings for the day. We were completely silent and he started playing music perhaps to fill the awkwardness. He turned away to complete his work, and I walked away with my readings.
I’ve been here before, this uncomfortable limbo where I don’t know if it’s right to say something, or to let the moment slip away.